May I recommend
Putting an elastic band around your phone.
This is weird, Amy - what are you up to now?
Well, let me ask you this - are you maybe a titch grossed out about how much you stare at your phone? Do you worry that your eyes are literally shrivelling up in your head, that your attention span has dwindled away to such a degree that you can’t pay attention to a sentence, let alone a page? Do your thumbs ache from scrolling?
Well, I have a super low-tech, but effective solution… Put a rubber band on your phone. Just give it a whirl. What can it hurt?
That stupid, stupid, IRRITATING circle of rubber will prevent you from the mindless scroll… Instead, you’ll have to sort of wiggle it away to get to your beloved tweets, or obsessively check the weather, or see if anyone has texted you.
You will not accidentally watch two hours of head-bonking Tiktoks, telling yourself it’s “work” for your newsletter, because the stupid elastic band will be there, bugging you and reminding you that movement is essential to human life; social interaction is fundamental to positive mental health and your neck can move side to side as well as hunch down. It’s a crazily easy life hack, and it actually works.
Confess about your phone addiction issues in the comments below!
*Programming note: No newsletter next week, because I shall be winter cottaging!
What a great idea
Meet the Security Guards Moonlighting as Curators at the Baltimore Museum of Art
I always think that job must be so boring, but of course the guards have opinions and insights about the art they stare at all day…
BMA Director Christopher Bedford has observed that guards spend more time with these works than anyone else in the museum. And Chief Curator Asma Naeem, one of the people who came up with the idea of security/curators, says they pick up lots of insights, and pass them along to visitors.
How to purge your inessentials
A Guide to Getting Rid of Almost Everything
Patricia Marx is a funny writer and this has some good tips. Every time we go to my mother-in-law’s, who is constantly purging, we leave with more stuff… My husband can’t say no… She’s now chipping away at our resistance to a “tea caddy” (?) We WILL remain strong!
A fraction of what was in that jumble: seven antique glass cake stands that belonged to my mother; a dormitory’s worth of new sheet sets and blankets for a bed size that is not mine; a set of Lenox china that my grandmother gave to my mother, who gave it to me, and was never used; clothes galore; a Viking stove grate that arrived cracked, and which I saved because I planned to weld it into a sculpture someday, after I learned how to weld; several rolls of Trump toilet paper that I wrongly thought were amusing a few years ago. I wish I could have added my boyfriend’s too large Le Corbusier lounger. (There are Web sites, such as NeverLikedItAnyway.com, that will buy your ex’s leavings, ranging from engagement rings to “Rick and Morty” socks.)
Behind the scenes at the printing press
This is legit fascinating, with lots of cool photos.
“There is still something miraculous about a book, about seeing it. It took me so long to find a publisher when I was starting out, you know. Just the fact of a printed book is something that I don’t think I’ll ever get over.”
Promo stuff
Guys, The Honeybee Emeralds debuts in a month! If you are interested in reading it, please pre-order, apparently that matters! If you can’t afford it, but want to support me, NO WORRIES - ask your local library to pick up a copy. Libraries are wonderful to authors… Not only will they buy the book (suckers) but if it’s a Canadian library, I will get a few cents every time someone borrows it. Most libraries have a form on their website that you can fill out, asking you for suggestions for what to buy.
Another reminder, reviews and ratings are super important. If you read the book and like it, please go to Goodreads or Amazon and give me a rating - you don’t even have to write a review.
If you don’t want to do that, another way to support me (assuming you do - ha ha) would be to subscribe to this newsletter if you haven’t already, or forward it to anyone you think might like it and encourage them to subscribe…. I can not become a one-woman media empire a la Oprah Winfrey alone!
Here is an interview that my home town paper (and former employer) did with me! I am very proud that I worked in both a reference to my high school, and the fact that my father was from the town of Asbestos.
Here is a podcast interview I did with the wonderful Bill Kenower, who is a very enthusiastic and kind supporter of writers in the US and Canada.
Here is an article I wrote for Chatelaine magazine.
Finally, if you have a book club and you want me to Zoom in, or show up with a bottle of wine, to talk about my book, INVITE ME - I’m into it!
TikTok
cat paw
One of my favourite people introduced me to drunken bush jumping. Weller has mastered it
Spend the day with me!
Guard dog
Mocking babies
Bucket list
Complete this phrase
This girl…
By any beans necessary
Everything about this is A+
The tenth phone call
Lion King
Something to ponder
Fake friend
Thanks for reading my weekly newsletter.
You can follow me on Twitter here and Instagram here and now check out my website (I’m reposting my old Belgian blog Beer+Waffles there, if you want to take a trip down memory lane! )
Amy Tector, The Honeybee Emeralds (March 2022)
Putting an elastic around your phone + security guards + purging
So, Amy, what is a "tea caddy"? Is it a living, breathing human assistant, a person who breathlessly runs, carrying a cup of steaming hot tea to a golfer approaching, say, the putting green of the 14th hole during a company tournament at a private course in, say again, Scotland? Just wondering.