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60+ rejections + survey results + more whale stuff
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60+ rejections + survey results + more whale stuff

Amy Tector
Jun 20, 2021
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60+ rejections + survey results + more whale stuff
amytector.substack.com

May I recommend

Being rejected over and over and over and over again. This is a gross one. Maybe your stomach tightened up when you read that first sentence. It super sucks.

But Amy, you’re wondering, given your massive success - attaining middle age with a mortgaged home in Ottawa, a mid-level public service career and a mild morton’s neuroma on your right foot - what can YOU possibly know about rejection?

Well, aside from the men in my late teens, early twenties (ha ha ha, those brutal rejections -ha ha ha sob), my rejection expertise lies in this very writing career I am trying to foster.

My book (THE HONEYBEE EMERALDS March 2022) was rejected more than 60 times. The unpublished book before that about a coroner solving a mystery in an archival nitrate facility? Rejected 70+ times. The novel before that? The one about an archivist (I know) who finds a dead body squished up in the rolling stacks? Rejected 30+ times (rate is lower on this one, because the Internet wasn’t flourishing at that point, and I had to mail that sucker out and pay for postage). The one before that? The plucky florist who falls for a caddish businessman? Rejected 20 times.

So yeah, my writing career, up until January 2021 was a series of unrelenting rejections of material that I had poured my heart, soul and free time into. I told myself that I wrote because it was creatively nourishing and social (I love my critiquing group) and because I just had to find one person who said “yes” and my whole world would shift. Those things were all true (even the last one, which I thought was a comforting lie). While I had reasons for writing other than publication, the fact that I submitted things I deeply cared about and was proud of over 150 times, and 149 times, the world has come back and said, “Nah, I’m good,” was painful.

I have a tendency to downplay my accomplishments… sure I once ran a half marathon, but you should see how slow my time was; yes I got my Phd, but in kind of a weird way and in Belgium, so it doesn’t count; etc etc.

Guess what, though? When I finally got that precious, magical “Yes” on my book, that usual downplaying chorus didn’t kick in. Thanks to my vast experience of rejection, I was ready. When you’ve spent 20 years receiving a train load of “I didn’t connect with the material, best of lucks,” you don’t downplay what an accomplishment you’ve just, well, accomplished.

Instead, you feel like a mother fucking rockstar.

In addition to taming my self-deprecating mindset, my Rejection Training has had other payoffs. I’ve got Imposter Syndrome, the same as everyone else, and it turns out, there are so many ways to feel insecure in the literary world - I am not a good enough writer, I don’t have an MFA, I don’t know the right people, I don’t live in New York, my stories are dumb, I don’t have an agent, my jokes are not funny, I don’t deserve to be here…

Here’s where the Rejection Training comes in. If anything makes me a *real* writer, it’s not the beauty of my sentence structure or the sharpness of my character sketches; instead, it’s the fact that I can take a big fat Not For Me, Thanks right on the chin and just keep going.

Finally, all those rejections helped me figure out what I actually wanted. They showed me that even after deep disappointment you can continue to plug away. They taught me that 99% of the time it really ISN’T personal.

So, for all those reasons, I know that rejection can be good. As my father used to say, “it builds character.”

Tell me about your most crippling rejection in the comments below!

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Next weekend I’m blissfully Internet-free at a rustic cottage in the woods, where the Gin and Tonics will be strong and the lake, bracingly cold, so no newsletter.

You can always revisit the archives to laugh at old TikToks, if you need a fix!

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Follow up from last week’s whale story

Ask Me Anything - Q+A With The Guy Who Was Swallowed by a Whale

I am obviously going to to be keeping my eye on this story and this guy. He lived a pretty amazing life even before HE WAS SWALLOWED BY A WHALE

How did you get out? Were you able to see anything? What bad things could have happened inside which didn’t happen fortunately?

  1. Eventually the whale managed to dislodge me by moving its head and tongue, I think.

  2. Nope. Completely dark.

  3. I could’ve suffocated, or drowned if I didn’t retrieve my regulator in time.

A good article on body acceptance

“How I stopped saying horrible things to myself.”

Flippity Flip being a human in a patriarchy is hard. We are all being policed and shamed about our bodies at all times. It is a radical act to step off the bullshit merry go round.

I am fat. It’s okay. You can say it. I can say it. Once I accepted that I was inherently, unconditionally worthy of love — and that this love and worthiness has nothing to do with my appearance and/or body but rather by pure virtue of being a human being — the word fat lost its power as an insult. I’m fat? So what! Throw a party for me if you care so much.

Twitter

Twitter avatar for @amylaurajonesAmy Jones @amylaurajones
A totally normal way to sleep
Image

June 17th 2021

1 Retweet38 Likes
Twitter avatar for @555bbydae :p @555bby
my bf really dumb asl i’m crying
Image

June 16th 2021

28,808 Retweets399,069 Likes
Twitter avatar for @hollabekgrlbekah @hollabekgrl
i do not want to have a career. i want to sit on the porch

June 16th 2021

84,767 Retweets410,297 Likes
Twitter avatar for @dog_ratesWeRateDogs® @dog_rates
This is Boshi. It took a little while, but he finally learned how to activate both his ears at the same time. 13/10 I love him #EarsToVets @Trupanion
little corgi on green grass with both ears flat down
right ear is fully up. left ear is still down. he has a leaf in his mouth
his right ear is starting to perk up now
both ears are now up and he’s smiling wide

June 17th 2021

3,939 Retweets53,765 Likes
Twitter avatar for @jpbrammerJP @jpbrammer
when I leave the Zoom and my smile disappears I do feel like a serial killer

June 10th 2021

26,040 Retweets233,690 Likes
Twitter avatar for @pants_so_shortwide drexler @pants_so_short
buy the deodorant with the aluminum. it’s too hot for y’all to be experimenting this summer.

June 15th 2021

26,321 Retweets166,949 Likes
Twitter avatar for @deapoirierbooksDea Poirier @deapoirierbooks
I’m not sure what I just interrupted
Image

June 15th 2021

60 Retweets1,209 Likes
Twitter avatar for @bewgtweetsBewg @bewgtweets
Soup of the day implies another, possibly even seductive, soup of the night.

June 15th 2021

17,083 Retweets109,104 Likes
Twitter avatar for @RosieeThorRosiee Thor ~ PREORDER FIRE BECOMES HER @RosieeThor
HELLO I PICKED A RASPBERRY AND PUT IT IN MY MOUTH BUT THERE WAS A BIG ASS SPIDER INSIDE AND IT BIT ME ON MY FUCKING TONGUE WHAT THE FUCK

June 14th 2021

61 Retweets2,635 Likes
Twitter avatar for @SnapsieSandraSandra McDonald @SnapsieSandra
Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worchestershire sauce?

June 14th 2021

944 Retweets16,115 Likes
Twitter avatar for @MrMamas_koi🙇🏾‍♂️ @MrMamas_
another beautiful day without using sin cos or tan

June 15th 2021

78,376 Retweets369,082 Likes

TikTok

Art Appreciation

Etymology

Thinking about

Worth it for the shriek

Thor

A real sibling dynamic going on here

Bad date

Wish I could sleep like that

Bear

Me too!

Bella loves chickies

Seed swap drama

The border collie, though

Very upsetting

All Dirty Dancing content is good content

whoa

Living his best life

Elmo’s song!

Twist

I should try this with Andrew


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You can follow me on Twitter here and Instagram here and now check out my website (I’m reposting my old Belgian blog Beer+Waffles there, if you want to take a trip down memory lane! )

Amy Tector, The Honeybee Emeralds (March 2022)

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60+ rejections + survey results + more whale stuff
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Tim Webb
Jun 20, 2021Liked by Amy Tector

I don’t know; we seem to have to buy Worcestershire sauce about once every year or two….

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