Antici... ... ... .... .... pation

May I recommend

Anticipating stuff…

Things are a bit grim these days… It is February. The Olympics are unaccountably happening AGAIN. There is a convoy of fascists pooping in the parking lot of my place of work.

It is at times like this that I turn to the people most commonly associated with deep wisdom and insight into the human soul: The Dutch.

Ha, ha, I joke. I lived in The Hague for a year and I flipping LOVE the Dutch. The height! The bracing rudeness! The efficiency! The bicycles! The clogs and tulips and windmills — seriously, they aren’t screwing around with any of that… The place is heaving with windmills and tulips and if you give a Dutch person a chance, they will tell you a LOT about clogs… Also, whenever you buy anything they offer to gift wrap it. Grown men regularly drink large glasses of milk with their meals. The whole country is the size of a postage stamp and sometimes you’ll see cows grazing in the grassy verge on a highway because these Dutchers are so GD efficient…