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Buffer Days + temperate climates + Oreos
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Buffer Days + temperate climates + Oreos

Amy Tector
Nov 14, 2021
Share this post
Buffer Days + temperate climates + Oreos
amytector.substack.com

May I recommend

Buffer days.

We’re all grownups here, so I am assuming we are all on the same page, but on the off chance that one of you missed this in the How To Adult Like A Pro course, may I introduce you to the concept of the Buffer Day.

When you go on vacation and leave your house (the two don’t necessarily follow in these Pandemmy times) when feasible you must, yes MUST, add an extra day to your vacation to use as a buffer day. “But, Amy,” you wail, ala Cathy - “I only have two weeks holiday, I can’t waste a precious day!” To that I say (and I know this is incredibly privileged) but I say, look for another job. A measly two weeks is barbaric. Most professional positions offer three weeks as standard. There is a massive labour shortage - look for a better job where they are not so parsimonious with their holidays. If they are dickering around with your three weeks holiday, they are also probably not a good employer. You deserve better. Okay. Good.

Now, here is why you are not “wasting” a day off by taking a buffer day. Firstly, and most importantly, no matter where you have been - I don’t care if it’s a week at your in-laws, the beaches of Bali or an olive grove in Northern Italy — your buffer day will always be the LITERAL best day of your whole holiday.

Why?

Because it is a glorious, unplanned free day where you don’t have to pretend to be interested in a Romanesque churches, eat weird food that MIGHT be delicious, but might also give you the collywobbles or talk to people instead of watching old New Girl episodes on Netflix.

In an ideal world, your spouse doesn’t know about the buffer day and leaves the house to work, allowing you to have the whole place to yourself. If you are so blessed as to have children, they should under no circumstances be given a buffer day. You are not wasting your precious buffer by making some dillweed a grilled cheese sandwich. The children are young and they can go to school and walk around bleary eyed and discombobulated as God intended.

This day is a glorious gift of the gods. You are not travelling any more. You got home last night. You do not then have to wake up and drag your sorry carcass to work (even if work is just opening your work laptop from your couch). No, you get to enjoy a frittery day off, where you are NOT navigating highways, airports, unpacking, or polite small talk. There is no schlepping today. None.

Now, what do you DO on a buffer day? Well, that is of course the central joy of the BD - the world is your oyster. The obvious thing is to do the laundry from the trip. This isn’t like regular laundry, however — this is languid, slow laundry that might take you the whole day to do. Why is laundry so much better on a buffer day? It’s simple, because 1. you’re in your own house again, and not sleeping in someone’s weird guest room, a cramped hotel or an odd smelling AirBNB. You’re home! You are reunited with your own delicious bed, your preferred clock radio, there is melba toast available whenever you have a hankering and tea and milk and all the things you need at hand. 2. You should be working, and there’s no reason that you aren’t except for the joy of the Buffer.

Other things you can do during your buffer day are to stay in your pajamas all day, watch Netflix, finally sort out the contents of the junk drawer, make a big elaborate dinner with all of the glorious tools in your very own kitchen or just catch up on any missed naps.

You can do all those frittering, unimportant things because you are reacquainting yourself with your beloved house, and your beloved stuff and you’re not away any more but you’re home and it’s so nice and enjoyable and you are able to just relish it. Luxuriate in it. You’re in your own bathroom again!

Buffer day!

Tell me about your favourite BD in the comments below!

There’s no point moving to a warm climate - you’ll still be cranky

What Winter Haters Get Wrong

Do I sound a bit defensive as we slog through a north eastern November - typically grey, cold, rainy and leafless? Maybe a titch, but I do love seasons and I don’t mind winter — so I am on board for this article’s thesis.

If moving somewhere warm produces such marginal and temporary gains, why is it so tempting? It turns out that people tend to think that weather matters more for their happiness than it actually does. In a now-classic study from the 1990s, the Nobel-laureate psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his co-author, David Schkade, asked midwesterners and Californians to rate their own life satisfaction as well as the happiness of people living in the other region. The self-ratings were the same, but both groups thought that Californians were happier than midwesterners, specifically because of the climate.

The neuroscience behind our inner voices

The Last Great Mystery of the Mind: Meet the People who have unusual — or non-existent —inner voices

This is an interesting one - what do our inner voices look/sound like and why is everyone’s unique?

Claudia*, a sailor from Lichfield in her late 30s, is not Italian. She has never been to Italy. She has no Italian family or friends. And she has no idea why a belligerent Italian couple have taken over her inner voice, duking it out in Claudia’s brain while she sits back and listens.

“I have no idea where this has come from,” says Claudia, apologetically. “It’s probably offensive to Italians.” The couple are like the family in the Dolmio pasta sauce adverts: flamboyant, portly, prone to waving their hands and shouting. If Claudia has a big decision to make in her life, the Italians take over.

The surprisingly cutthroat history of Oreos

Let’s talk about Oreos

I love me an Oreo and this Instagram history is fascinating.

Gossipy dirt about (mostly) old white men

8 Hollywood A-listers Brian Cox trashes Logan Roy style in his new book.

I love some good Hollywood gossip and this guy is pulling no punches.

In his book, Cox recounts turning down the role of the Governor in Pirates of the Caribbean (a part taken by Jonathan Pryce, but more on him later). He doesn’t regret missing out on the Johnny Depp helmed series…

“Personable though I’m sure he is, is so overblown, so overrated. I mean, Edward Scissorhands. Let’s face it, if you come on with hands like that and pale, scarred-face make-up, you don’t have to do anything. And he didn’t. And subsequently, he’s done even less.”

Twitter

Twitter avatar for @trevorgrogersTrevor Rogers @trevorgrogers
Eight years ago I entered the local library’s library card design contest not knowing it was for children and absolutely dominated. Then they made me accept the award at city hall with the kids I beat. 😂
Image

November 5th 2021

8,807 Retweets94,185 Likes
Twitter avatar for @SketchesbyBozeOwl! at the Library 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze
medieval cats are a nice reminder that you can completely fail at your job and still make art that's admired hundreds of years later
Image
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November 6th 2021

799 Retweets4,407 Likes
Twitter avatar for @ScottThompson_Scott Thompson @ScottThompson_
Today my engineer dad explained how the bricks in his LTC residence are obviously made in our hometown of Brampton because of their distinctive shape and legendary strength or as he put it, ’The best goddamn bricks in the world.’
Image

November 5th 2021

113 Retweets5,451 Likes

 

Twitter avatar for @grnpointercharlemagne tha gourd @grnpointer
The House of Faberge made 52 "Imperial" eggs as Easter gifts for Tsars Alexander III and Nicholas II to give to their wives and moms. 46 of these survive. I will rank all 46 Imperial Faberge eggs.

November 6th 2021

24,197 Retweets117,038 Likes
Twitter avatar for @mmdotcoxmelissa cox @mmdotcox
when you’re staying in a hotel and breakfast is included
Image

November 7th 2021

9,991 Retweets98,464 Likes
Twitter avatar for @edburmilaMass for Shut-ins (Podcast) @edburmila
people are like "We can't just eliminate everyone's debt." Dude last night at 3 AM we decided it would become 2 AM, this is in your head.

November 7th 2021

112,086 Retweets725,393 Likes
Twitter avatar for @thegallowboobRob N Roll @thegallowboob
found out farmers often protect their young cows from frostbite by using special earmuffs and i mean just look at them
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November 7th 2021

47,681 Retweets343,896 Likes
Twitter avatar for @mamapjs1Mama Pajama @mamapjs1
Girl same.
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November 7th 2021

1,391 Retweets12,044 Likes
Twitter avatar for @lisacfogartyLisa Fogarty @lisacfogarty
You know you have anxiety when a doctor asks if you're allergic to anything and you want to answer, "Can you ever really be sure?"

November 9th 2021

1 Retweet13 Likes
Twitter avatar for @ian_shinIan Shin 冼健義 @ian_shin
You know what I still can’t get over? Inter-Library Loan. You’re telling me that another school will ship me a book? From across the country? For free? Because they believe that I will use it to, like, advance our collective knowledge about something? It’s so pure. 🥺

November 9th 2021

3,364 Retweets37,527 Likes
Twitter avatar for @abbyemonteilabby monteil @abbyemonteil
shiv roy
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November 8th 2021

1,130 Retweets20,535 Likes
Twitter avatar for @Coll3enGColleen @Coll3enG
My best friend and I do this thing called “trickle down therapy” which is where I tell my best friend stuff my therapist says to me since she’s not in therapy

November 8th 2021

10,785 Retweets192,554 Likes
Twitter avatar for @passtheamylᴊ ᴏ ɴ ᴇ ꜱ @passtheamyl
Ray Bradbury, nailing the correct aesthetic for the authorial portrait.
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November 8th 2021

29 Retweets142 Likes
Twitter avatar for @WhileyAndrewAndrew Whiley @WhileyAndrew
Best banner from the #COP26 climate protest on the weekend. 😂
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November 8th 2021

275 Retweets2,223 Likes
Twitter avatar for @gourmetspudGourmet Spud @gourmetspud
Love when the IT person asks if I've tried re-starting my computer, and I tell them 'yes'. I can feel their respect for me increasing - we're not quite equals, but I'm no common rube.

October 25th 2021

9,601 Retweets101,173 Likes
Twitter avatar for @camillardCamilla Blackett @camillard
Okay I have waited a respectful 24 hours to say that Malala’s husband is hot. Girl took a bullet, graduated Oxford and bagged a fittie. I’m just saying, America could never beat the Taliban that badly.

November 10th 2021

4,023 Retweets67,091 Likes
Twitter avatar for @WellmanAlexAlex Wellman @WellmanAlex
Someone said that the Estonian word for night "öö" looks like two tiny owls sitting next to each other, and I can't stop thinking about that now. 🇪🇪🦉🦉

November 10th 2021

277 Retweets2,169 Likes
Twitter avatar for @TweetsnwhatnotMel @Tweetsnwhatnot
My toddler, who was not previously accustomed to being awake after dark, just looked outside and screamed “where is the backyard?!”

November 10th 2021

5,692 Retweets100,492 Likes
Twitter avatar for @shinypennyfaceNicole Castrovinci @shinypennyface
😆

Buitengebieden @buitengebieden_

Caption this.. 😅 https://t.co/KKvod9uD1u

November 11th 2021

1 Like
Twitter avatar for @SirOpsALotTom 💉💉🎉 @SirOpsALot
I just learned that 1 horse has about 15 horsepower and I'm so mad I can't think straight

November 11th 2021

7,470 Retweets74,244 Likes

TikTok

This kid’s skiing and enunciation are both on point

True

Did not know this

An extra large puppicino

Woof

SammySolvesItFast

Putain, je t’en merde!

I had the time of my life

Love this lady, her lips, her accent, her little sip and her wisdom

Set my soul on fire

Sheep

The perfect texture

The boobs, the butt, the vagina

Sergeant John American Flag is the only hope we have left

Hungry horse

I like ending these with a konk


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Amy Tector, The Honeybee Emeralds (March 2022)

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Buffer Days + temperate climates + Oreos
amytector.substack.com
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