Lemon and Water + large bees + work clothes

May I recommend

Warmish morning lemon water

Every morning, EVERY morning, I wake up and pour myself a glass of warmish tap water and then I plonk a piece of goddamn lemon in to it.

Do I have a single piece of medical evidence to support the value of this practice other than a mumbled “scurvy?” ? No.

Have I noticed any difference in my general health, skin smoothness or hair glossiness as a result of this practice? No.

Do I find the bright taste of lemon a delicious pop of flavour first thing in the a.m.? No. I mean, it’s a slice of lemon in warmish tap water, not a flipping cream soda. It’s fine.

Have I been doing this religiously since late November when I visited my old grad school friends, Jen and Chris, and they served me this? Yes.

Will I continue to do this every goddamn morning despite its questionable antecedents and dubious benefits? Yes.

Sweet Amy, why do you do this every morning, you might reasonably ask.
“An unearned and inexplicable smug sense of self-satisfaction,” I will…