May I recommend
Making Jam
Look, it’s easy to do (like, stupidly easy — raspberries, Certo, sugar — BOOM! ); it’s delicious (have you ever eaten fresh toasted bread, melting butter and sharp, sweet raspberry jam? If you have, then you’ve tasted a bite of heaven, my friend); it’s cheap (got some old jars? USE THEM NOW).
Worried about finding a recipe? Use the one on the Certo package. My friend Christine turned me onto these, so now you don’t even need to fart around with lids! This isn’t rocket science. Make freezer jam! Seriously, you don’t need to boil vast amounts of water and risk certain skin-stripping-scaldings to avoid botulism… just cook up a sugary raspberry mush, wang in some Certo, stick it in your old mustard jars and then into the freezer. DONE. Old timey people avoided accidental poisonings by that jar-boiling palaver, but we’re not old timey. We have ZIPPERS. Just use your damn freezer.
Wait, Amy, you keep talking about raspberry jam, but can’t I use a variety of fruits to make my jam? Apricots! Strawberries! Cloudberries! Peach??
Sure you can, but WHY WOULD YOU? Raspberry jam is the best jam. You can even grow your own with extremely little effort. Just make raspberry jam. It’s not as sickly sweet as strawberry and it’s vastly superior to grape jelly. Listen, if you’ve got some rhubarb getting freezer burnt at the bottom of your Frigidaire under that one extra turkey you bought the day after Thanksgiving because it was “such a good deal,” then haul that Tupperware out, scrape off the ice and turkey innards and now you’ve made RASPBERRY/RHUBARB jam.
The best part of all of this? SMUG SATISFACTION. There is literally no better feeling on earth than handing your friend a jar of jam and saying, “I made this myself.”
They will look at you like your Laura Ingalls Wilder and you’ve just tracked, killed, skinned, gutted and roasted a rabbit, but instead of weird diseased bunny meat that was definitely caught without a license, you’ve given them a jar of ambrosia.
Our brains trick us
Your Brain Looks For Winning Streaks
This article is far from my usual fare — it is about both sports and statistics, but it does explain the larger phenomenon of “lucky streaks” which I’m interested in.
Moreover, we can understand the science of serendipitous streaks and still marvel at the fact that Curry made 105 consecutive three-point practice shots. We can realize the realities of randomness and yet find pleasure in life’s weird streaks and coincidences. As countless things happen, we can savor the happenstances—such as three of the first five U.S. presidents dying on July 4 or someone winning the lottery twice or discovering a mutual friend on meeting a stranger overseas.
Your neighbour is a spy
As I talked about earlier this month, I did a big The Americans binge — watched the final episode and it was good. Anyway, this article scratches my Americans itch.
If the neighbors knew about the spy house, then the Russians certainly did, too. Apparently, that’s standard practice; the FBI watches the Russians, and the Russians know they’re being watched. But what, specifically, were they looking for, these workers who showed up every day? Washingtonian called a few espionage experts to find out.
In the game of counterintelligence, as it’s played across the globe, you must watch your adversary’s embassy. You put eyes on all entrances and exits—24 hours a day, seven days a week, even on holidays, even when you’re short on personnel. Every face and license plate is photographed. The time of each entrance and egress is logged. Day after day, you create copious and meticulous records. When someone gets sloppy, you hope it’s the other side’s people, not yours.
Feeling spendy? Buy these things
Just a fun round up of lovely autumnal things! Maybe I will finally pull the trigger and get myself a cashmere sweater… Ha ha, that’s a terrible idea because I will spill on it, snag it and then literally never wash it because getting it to the dry cleaners is a Sysyphean task.
Book Stuff
THE FOULEST THINGS is the Carleton Place Library book club pick
If you’re free and in CP the night of October 12, 2023, come on out and chat!
I’m available (virtually or in person) for your literary events - so send me an email amytectorwriters@gmail.com
Buy my books!
TikTok
Free Continental Breakfast
How many have you read?
Babies with Scottish accents
OOo, I did read this translation and it’s very readable!
Love this poem and its sentiment and her reading
So stupid. So funny.
Birds are disturbing
More bird humour
Slo Mo Shot
This really made me laugh
Oh my, this took me back
Then I was obviously in a nostalgia loop - PATCH!
It’s so cute
Who am I, Heather?
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My mom and I started making jam 15 years ago or so. It is so EASY and cheap and delicious and people are always super impressed by it.
So, should I buy the current Megabucks (not MAGAbucks) ticket with a prize of more than $1billion (US) ONLY if I have already won $1billion? What would I ever do with my second billion -- at my age, no less?