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Pre-ordering (my) books + secret jewellery + Jane Goodall
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Pre-ordering (my) books + secret jewellery + Jane Goodall

Amy Tector
Sep 26, 2021
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Pre-ordering (my) books + secret jewellery + Jane Goodall
amytector.substack.com

May I recommend

Pre-ordering any books you’ve got your eye on.

So apparently this global pandemic is FINALLY gonna impact me (ha ha ha). It has disrupted the publishing world’s already dicey supply lines. This means that if you have any books you want to get your paws on (AHEM) in the next few months, you should order them now. This is especially concerning for Christmas orders, BUT if you were interested in books published, let’s say on March 29th, 2022, now might be the time to pre-order, just to be safe.

My number one recommendation is to pre-order from your local bookstore - all of them should be able to bring whatever book you want in, their prices are competitive, and you’re supporting local. Win. Win. Win.

If you want to get my book - links below!

First, order local if possible.

For my frugal Canadians, if you want to maximize your Plum points here it is at Indigo

Here’s our good friend, and Jeff Bezos’ Penis Rocket Money Maker: Canadian Amazon

If you’re in the States, my publisher has set up an e-commerce site and I get a few more pennies if you order from them (my book is on sale at the moment and 10% cheaper than the bigger outlets). You can’t order from them in Canada.

In the States you can use Indiebound to order from a local, indy book store if you like.

Obviously, this is Jeff Bezos’ REAL money maker: American Amazon

I don’t think I have ever been into a Barnes and Noble, but they might be the last big American book chain? Someone needs to tell me.

One last thing, you KNOW I love me a library, so if you don’t want to spend the money (or if you just want to give me a boost!) you can email your local library and request THEY buy a couple of copies… Guess what? Those fools will do it! That way you’re sticking it to Big Library and getting them to pony up the coin.

Did you buy my book or someone else’s because of this public service announcement? Leave a note in the comments below!

*** Also, Substack is giving me a weird message saying that this newsletter might be too long to show up fully in email, even though it’s not particularly long. If that happens and you want to get the full thing, just click in the email and it should take you to the full thing on the Substack website itself. I don’t know what the dickens is going on. Well, maybe it is longer than usual? I don’t know. I had a lot of tweets and then the tiktoks were funny. Plus I got weirdly excited by that article on file folders.**

Secret jewels!

Marie Antoinette’s secret diamond bracelets hit the auction block

Guys! The Honeybee Emeralds is about secret jewellery that has been owned (fine not by Marie Antoinette) by some real muckedy mucks Go back to what I just wrote and pre-order that sucker! You’re gonna love it!

During Queen Marie-Antoinette’s final years, when was she locked away in the Tuileries Palace in Paris, she secretly packed her jewels in a wooden crate and sent them to Austrian ambassador Count Mercy-Argenteau for safekeeping. Feeling so confident that she would soon be exonerated and be free to retrieve her jewelry, the doomed monarch even ordered a Breguet watch while awaiting trial. Obviously, she would never get the chance to claim neither watch nor box of jewels—Marie-Antoinette was sent to the guillotine in 1793.

Jane Goodall is okay, I guess

Jane Goodall on How She Changes Minds and Why She Isn’t Ruling Out Bigfoot

I have mixed feelings about this article, mostly because I have residual anger toward Jane Goodall. She gave a Canadian Wildlife sponsored talk in Ottawa a few years ago and it was actually really boring, and we had JUST returned from a trip to Greece and we were really really jet-lagged and Violet was grumpy and fell asleep and I was grumpy and fell asleep. Suffice to say, it was not the pivotal moment of environmental awareness, activist awakening and the urgent call to action that I had hoped for my daughter. Instead, it was just an uncomfortable and expensive nap.

That being said, this was a good article. Goodall’s optimism is quite inspiring. Here she is, being asked why she continues to have hope for the future:

I don't know. But recently I've come to think about that more and more. I've lived through fighting off World War II. I've lived through the end of apartheid in South Africa, I've lived through a Cold War. I've lived through 9/11, I was in New York. And at least a collective will to change is growing more steadily.

La doi, it’s the Honeycrisp

Apples, ranked

Considering the fact that at a recent family birthday party all of the adults on our porch got into a passionate argument about what the best apple is, I sense this might be of keen interest to my readership.

I have never heard of the winner, but I admit to being intrigued.

I do not agree with the high ranking (spoiler: #5) received by the Granny Smith, but I appreciate the review:

"Hell, Yeah"
Granny Smith apples rule because: 1) they're practically never mealy; 2) their longevity is, like, insane (up to a year in certain conditions!); 3) raw or baked, they're still delicious; 4) they're one of three apples that are pretty much always available; 5) apparently, they're the healthiest apple; and 6) "Granny" Smith was a real Australian lady named Maria Ann who dumped a bunch of crabapple cores out of her kitchen window and into her backyard, which grew into a tree that accidentally spawned her namesake apple. A very good apple indeed.

Kids these days don’t know how to search for files and old people don’t understand their thought process

File Not Found

We have an information management system at my work that is built on the Sharepoint platform and it doesn’t really have files or folders and it befuddles and defeats me (and I think all 900 employees of Library and Archives Canada) on a daily basis. The old people like to put things in files!

I have a very strong connection with this guy:

Guarín-Zapata is an organizer. He has an intricate hierarchy of file folders on his computer, and he sorts the photos on his smartphone by category. He was in college in the very early 2000s — he grew up needing to keep papers organized. Now, he thinks of his hard drives like filing cabinets. “I open a drawer, and inside that drawer, I have another cabinet with more drawers,” he told The Verge. “Like a nested structure. At the very end, I have a folder or a piece of paper I can access.”

I do appreciate what is going through the young people’s minds:

“I grew up when you had to have a file; you had to save it; you had to know where it was saved. There was no search function,” says Saavik Ford, a professor of astronomy at the Borough of Manhattan Community College. But among her students, “There’s not a conception that there’s a place where files live. They just search for it and bring it up.” She added, “They have a laundry basket full of laundry, and they have a robot who will fetch them every piece of clothing they want on demand.”

If you’ve read this far, maybe you are interested in this topic. I will say that people’s expectation of the above (that you can punch in whatever you want into a search bar and get a copy of the thing you are looking for) is super super tricky for archives, because that’s not how we have ever organized and described our stuff and it really really frustrates people that they can’t search for things and find them the way they are used to. Archives around the world are trying to address this, but it’s very hard and complicated to do and if you want, I can talk to you for literal hours about the issues.

Twitter

Twitter avatar for @anne_theriaultAnne Thériault @anne_theriault
One of the subjects that causes the most strife in my neighbourhood Facebook group is a cat named Buckaroo. Like. There are deep-seated tensions surrounding this dude. People have blocked each other over Buckaroo, and then make passive-aggressive Buckaroo posts about each other.

September 11th 2021

46 Retweets1,401 Likes
Twitter avatar for @kalehummusamerica's tweetheart @kalehummus
I saw this note on the door of an antique shop I tried to go to today.
Image

September 11th 2021

8,264 Retweets114,027 Likes
Twitter avatar for @MirandaKeelingMiranda Keeling @MirandaKeeling
Me (to a little boy beside me in a cafe who is wearing a yellow coat): Nice coat. Little boy: Thank you. It means when night comes I can hide as a star.

September 15th 2021

252 Retweets4,047 Likes
Twitter avatar for @melsideponytailmelissa @melsideponytail
does anyone know who my mom was on the phone with throughout the 90s

September 16th 2021

4,360 Retweets87,691 Likes
Twitter avatar for @StephBencinStephanie Bencin @StephBencin
Ladies in your twenties, one day, likely in your forties, you will have a Sixth Sense moment where you realize, you were hot...the whole time.

September 17th 2021

7,633 Retweets86,120 Likes
Twitter avatar for @litandknitsLit & Knits | Brittney @litandknits
I am HELPLESS in the face of the “only one bed” trope. What are YOUR faves?
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September 16th 2021

5,725 Retweets18,747 Likes
Twitter avatar for @YuckyTomold tom @YuckyTom
imagine writing not one but two massive epic poems so good they’re studied and referenced 2700 years later and still only being the second-most culturally relevant Homer

September 17th 2021

18,926 Retweets201,667 Likes
Twitter avatar for @Not_CharLatte🎃 Spooky Dumpling 🥟 @Not_CharLatte
This is art
Image

September 17th 2021

9,288 Retweets110,654 Likes
Twitter avatar for @jzuxtrash jones @jzux
adulthood is wild because one day you get a little sleepy and then you stay that way for the rest of your life

September 17th 2021

51,099 Retweets321,875 Likes
Twitter avatar for @OhmsBOmar Burgan @OhmsB
Someone in Montréal is replacing photos of candidates with cats and I really don’t mind. #Elxn44
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September 17th 2021

4,909 Retweets20,259 Likes
Twitter avatar for @daneppsDan Epps @danepps
To her grave, my grandmother always insisted she was just a government secretary during WWII but her children always suspected she was one of the “Code Girls.” After her death, we found this in her papers.
Image

September 17th 2021

5,261 Retweets78,112 Likes
Twitter avatar for @ClimateHumanPeter Kalmus STOP LINE 3 💚 @ClimateHuman
I don’t think we’re nearly angry enough about rich people burning down our planet irreversibly so they can get a little richer

September 16th 2021

17,947 Retweets88,986 Likes
Twitter avatar for @NathanmacintoshNathan Macintosh @Nathanmacintosh
Stop saying 'happy anniversary to my partner in crime.' You do not commit crimes. You shop at Costco

September 18th 2021

1,507 Retweets24,640 Likes
Twitter avatar for @smoothposersmooth poser ☢️🐬 @smoothposer
A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an Ikea warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set

September 16th 2021

37,840 Retweets306,691 Likes
Twitter avatar for @abmcelroy1Alex McElroy @abmcelroy1
Escape Room Idea: it’s a job you hate but you have benefits there and you can’t really escape ever because what if you get sick or an emergency happens no it’s better just to stay in the room

September 23rd 2021

1 Retweet58 Likes
Twitter avatar for @eliistender10Giles Paley-Phillips @eliistender10
I'm not crying you are 😢 Six year old got welcomed back at his school with a standing ovation after beating leukemia.. 🎥 FB: meganzippay

September 23rd 2021

3,784 Retweets55,644 Likes
Twitter avatar for @lauraeweymouthLaura E. Weymouth @lauraeweymouth
Maybe women get into autumn so much because the crone that lies at each of our hearts loves to watch things wither and die and to enter a season where the darkness and decay and storms outside reflect the darkness and decay and storms inside

September 23rd 2021

429 Retweets2,710 Likes
Twitter avatar for @merrittkmerritt k @merrittk
Look, do I regret betraying my siblings? Sure. Would I do it again for the great taste of Turkish delight? Of course I would

September 23rd 2021

4,680 Retweets67,549 Likes

TikTok

Ranch kids

Pigeonfluencer

I don’t drink coffee and I feel personally attacked

Kazoo and bangs

Death explained by Chidi

Fury

The Oscars

Brian and the lizard

ha ha ha

This girl’s courage in telling her story is awe inspiring

The gender pay gap is fake

I love the confused whispering

I really get the giggles when I watch this one

Especially you, Pam


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Amy Tector, The Honeybee Emeralds (March 2022)

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Pre-ordering (my) books + secret jewellery + Jane Goodall
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Cdpetes
Sep 26, 2021Liked by Amy Tector

It is the Honey Crisp! I will be preordering your book pronto. All I could think when I watched that tear-inducing video of the boy who’d recovered from leukemia was that it better have been taken pre-covid, because if those assholes give that kid Covid after what he’s been through. Worst! That receipt was mine! I can’t believe it made it on to Twitter. D has received more than one call from our bank asking what is up with the big tips. #wine+badmath=generosity?

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