May I recommend
Four unconventional sleep tips
My friend Kathryn, who is a chronic insomniac, will undoubtedly be enraged by this post, because there is nothing more irritating to an insomniac than someone saying “have your tried cutting caffeine or putting your phone down two hours before bed?”
These tips aren’t meant for the hardcore sleepless Kathryns of the world, they are meant for everyone else who, perhaps like me, often (but not always!) wakes up at 3 am to have a good worry about: 1. Climate Change 2. Your terrible parenting failures 3. That stupid thing you said five years ago 4. How you’re definitely in BIG trouble at work 5. Interest Rates
These are not the usual recommendation you get elsewhere— blackout curtains, ear plugs, melatonin, CBD, warm baths, meditation, light exercise — all undoubtedly excellent but not what I’m here to talk about.
Here are four things that maybe you haven’t tried that have definitely helped me:
Find a heartbeat.
Cuddle up to someone. This does not have to be a human. A pet will do. What we’re after here is a heartbeat. Accessing that soothing, thump thump of life coursing through a body will often send you to the Land of Nod.
Amy, I have neither a person I want to cuddle up with at night, nor do I sleep with a filthy animal. Thanks a lot for your exclusionary advice.
Wait!
Do you yourself have a heartbeat? Guess what? You can use that! Your heart is thump thumping right now! Stick a hand on your chest. Stick the other one in the waistband of your PJs… I don’t know why that’s so comfortable, but it is. Close your eyes. Think about your warm mammalian blood coursing through your veins.
Amy, you’re still excluding me! I sleep in a nightie, how am I going to stick my hands in a non-existent PJ waistband?!?
I can’t help you - nighties are stupid. Your legs are cold.
Wah! I sleep naked!
Even dumber. What if there is a fire? THINK!
Sleep upside down
I am not talking about sleeping on your head. I am talking about putting your head where your feet go and your feet where your head goes. If you sleep with a partner this is higher risk because of the kicking factor, but the method can be effective.
When I resort to this technique I do have a definite fear my face will get cut by someone’s grotty, thick toenails, but it is worth the risk. There is something about switching up your position and putting your body in a novel environment that can trick your dumb racing mind into relaxing.
Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash
Don’t worry about it.
I had insomnia as a kid. When I had trouble falling asleep, I would go to my father, who was a family doctor. He’d tuck me back in and tell me this reassuring fact in an authoritative scientific voice: Lying in bed, resting your body and taking some deep breaths is almost 100% as effective as actually falling asleep. If you’re resting, rather than sleeping, you’re basically getting all the benefits of sleep. This was deeply comforting to me as a child, and I would repeat it to myself as I lay resting (not sleeping!) in bed. Guess what would happen most of the time?
I have never googled this scientific fact for confirmation. Instead, I have authoritatively told my friends and loved ones this titbit for decades, sealing the deal by saying, “My dad was a doctor, so…” The key to this one is to BELIEVE it, and do not fact check it.
Read a book (NOT PHONE)
This is the one I’m sure you haven’t tried, because if you’re like me, you resist and resist it. Turning on the light? Sitting up? Finding your glasses and focussing on the page? Too hard! Terrible idea. Much better to thrash around in your sheets for hours, silently stewing and vaguely panicking.
Here’s the stupid, annoying thing, though… This piece of advice? The one that literally every sleep specialist/article/YouTuber gives? Actually works. This is always, ALWAYS, my last resort and it almost always sends me directly to sleep within ten minutes.
Why do I resist it? I don’t know… something to worry about tonight at three a.m. I guess!
Give me your unconventional sleep tips in the comments!
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Podcast
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Free Books
Friends! I’ve signed up for a program called StoryOrigins where you share digital access to your work with other authors. I am not *100%* sure how it all works, but I do know that I am now part of giveaways of other e-books you might like and it’s not a scam or anything weird… it is FREE BOOKS.
This giveaway is called Action Adventure Thrills!
And here is another one called Suspense Thrillers!
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Good one, Amy.
Also, your voice is not squeaky!