Knix + Murder Cruises + Plane Babies
May I recommend
The Canadian underwear brand, Knix.
There are many joys that come with being a woman —deeply enriching friendships forged despite (or perhaps because of) the grinding patriarchal systems we must abide in; the ability for many to create and nourish human life; the sweet relief of not needing to shave that zippery space between nose and lip… All these are wonderful, profound pleasures.
However, a truly irritating aspect of womanhood is the sporting of the mother-trucking underwire bra. These are highly uncomfortable pieces of clothing and — NO, OPRAH IT ISN’T BECAUSE I AM WEARING THE WRONG SIZE. That “1in 2 woman wear the wrong size bra” stuff is a MYTH designed to keep us in binding, poking, sweaty, scratchy instruments of torture while feeling like failures.
Yes, Oprah, I have been to the fancy department stores and speciality bra shops where matronly ladies stare critically at your chest and then hand you $100+ brassieres that they assure you are the perfect fit. Guess what? By the end of a work day I am clawing my way out of it like the alien in Alien (spoiler).
I am a middle-aged lady now, and I don’t care about having cleavage, or even a perky chest.You would think that would mean I could abandon the stupid bra, the way I have abandoned showering every day (total scam perpetuated by Big Water) and wearing a heel higher than my Hoka sneakers (helpful for my Morton’s Neuroma). Unfortunately, I have been blessed with knockers that require some kind of restraint if, for no other reason than my own comfort.
All that to say, that after test driving several different Knix products, I can confidently tell you that I will never wear an underwire again. I am free people, FREE.
Knix is a Canadian, woman-owned underwear company. True, they are based in Toronto, which is obviously a mark against them, but so is Margaret Atwood, so I can overlook this defect. The company makes swimsuits, pyjamas and loungewear, which I have tried and which is fine, but their bread and butter (or melons and baseballs) is bras.
Everyone’s body is different, but for me, I found the perfect comfort/support ration in their tank tops the Longevity bra and the sports bras for when I am jumping around.
These bras have no wires. They are size inclusive. They come in pretty colours. Unlike that toxic boss, or the medical system post-childbirth, they support you. They do NOT give you a big, thrusting bosom (for that you really do need some structural engineering) but they will keep everything in place and allow you to go about your business without thinking about your tits.
You’re comfortable, therefore your brain is busy solving bigger problems. THIS is how we dismantle the patriarchy!
P.S. Knix is having their warehouse sale this weekend, so there are deals to be had (and I’m not making any money off this recommendation… I just hate underwire bras).
Cruising for MURDER
My eight deranged days on the Gone Girl cruise
While I would rather be boiled alive than go on a cruise, if I was forced to go on one, I could be lured to a “Gone Girl” river cruise down the Danube. This journalist’s report about her experiences aboard made me laugh out loud a bunch of times.
One brisk morning in late September, as I arrived still a little drunk to a 9 a.m. wine tasting, I thought back to the previous evening. A cruise ship employee had led me off the vessel and to an underlit cellar, where I found an elderly former Austrian homicide detective awaiting me. He had a slideshow prepared, mainly of graphic photos of decomposing women. This was a capstone of sorts to a week where I had received ominous type-written notes resting on my pillow night after night, as new friends and I wondered who might be murdered before the week was out. As I had many times in the previous four days, I contemplated the decisions that had brought me here. But then the riesling breakfast began to do its job. I shrugged. So began another day on the Gone Girl cruise.
Babies born on planes
What happens to babies born on planes?
Oh my God, as if air travel wasn’t horrific enough. Forget your seat mate’s chronic farts and your knees jammed into the seat in front… Imagine contractions? Imagine vaginal tearing? Imagine placenta? The mind boggles.
Debbie fought the contractions at first, hoping to reach Europe and a hospital, but it soon became clear that her baby would touch down before the plane did. The crew took care of Claire, while a Dutch doctor, Wym Bakker, en route home from providing maternity care in Ghana, took charge of the birth. The flight was just off the coast of the U.K. when the baby was born; she would be called Shona Kirsty Yves, or SKY. Duncan didn’t receive the news from his wife, though: “The pilot phoned my father himself to say, ‘This is the BA pilot, and your wife is going into labor,'” says Shona, now 28.
Book Stuff
I’ve got a new Facebook Page (is it 2012?!?) devoted to my writerly pursuits. I’d love more followers because I kind of look like a loser on there. Go and “Like” my page and you’ll get the occasional update/photo of what I’m doing.
CBC All in a Day Bookclub Honeybee Emeralds has been chosen to be the next CBC Book All in a Day Bookclub, which is quite exciting. Listeners across Ottawa will be reading Honeybee and we’ll have a big party in early November to talk about the book. The event is happening on November 14 at 6:30 pm at the Happy Goat on Laurel Street in Ottawa. Everyone is invited so come on out! They serve WINE!
In Conversation with Bianca Marais November 22, 6:30 pm. Perfect Books, Ottawa. Bianca hosts the incredible podcast, The Shit No One Tells You About Writing, which if you are even the teeniest bit interested in writing as a hobby/career is a MUST LISTEN.
She’s a great writer and her latest book, The Witches of Moonshyne Manor is a cross between Golden Girls and Practical Magic. It’s the story of some geriatric witches up to mischief. She and I are going to chat about her book, her podcast and how she finds the time to do it all. I can’t wait. This is free, so if you’re in Ottawa, MARK YOUR CALENDARS.
Maple Leaf Leaf Ottawa Mystery Conference December 3, 2022. This is a virtual mini-conference featuring Ottawa-based mystery authors, but it’s open to the WORLD. Early-bird registration is only $15 and I’m very excited to be moderating a panel on cozy mysteries. I have never been in CHARGE before and am planning to go mad with power. You can register HERE .
WHAT DO YOU THINK? I’m toying with an idea… I’ve got a love story I wrote about a plucky florist and her brooding love interest. I wrote it twenty years ago and pitched it to Harlequin who passed. I think it’s pretty good.
I’m considering updating it a bit and making it Christmassy and then experimenting with Substack’s “serialized fiction” option.
My plan would be to issue it as a “Christmas Advent Story” and release a new instalment of the story over the 24 days before Christmas with the final episode on Christmas Eve. I would charge $5 USD for this (Substack’s minimum). What do you think? Is this of any interest to you?
Buy my books!
It has literally JUST occurred to me that I should include these links in all of my newsletter. Ha ha ha. Marketing is HARD.
Be whisked away to Paris in The Honeybee Emeralds. When co-workers at a struggling Parisian magazine discover a famed emerald necklace, they are plunged into a glittering world of diamonds and emeralds, courtesans and spies whilst investigating the long-buried secrets surrounding the necklace and its glamorous former owners.
Your local independent bookseller — they will get it for you and you will feel smugly pleased with yourself for supporting local!
Your local independent bookseller — they will get it for you and you will feel smugly pleased with yourself for supporting local!
TikTok
This might be me…
Speaking of Alien…
Bowling celebration
Halloween adjacent content
Just gonna scooch in…
Guitar solo
Got a little weepie about these tall Germans and their love for each other
Love the wine…
Oh those little pjs
Informative Les Mis content
ARCHIVES CAN CONECT YOU EMOTIONALLY TO THE PAST
So nerdy, so good
Dorothy didn’t deserve this
French (France) vs English (British)
That is some major 80’s hair, Obi Wan.
mmmm!
Oh, his face as he tries to understand
Downward Dog
Cheeky mum
I want this flight attendant!
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