These scones + attic people + tunics
May I recommend
Scones.
Winter has arrived.The sun has disappeared, darkness has descended and my TIME HAS COME.
I live in Ottawa, the world’s second coldest national capital (after Ulan Bator, Mongolia) and I know what makes the winter bearable. A coat with a hood; silk long underwear; good boots; and tea and scones… What can I say, I am a pasty-skinned freckle whose DNA test results reveal 20% Driving on the Wrong Side; 30% Union Jack Flags; 5% Pippi Longstocking and the rest is pure scone.
Some might think that the scone is a dry tasteless carb bomb. Those people are idiots who probably like doughnuts. The scone doesn’t strut out there, all sassy and obvious, dripping icing and flaunting sprinkles. No, she is a quieter, more dignified lady. She seduces with a hint of lemon, a soupçon of vanilla. She is not so desperate as to be MOIST, instead her dry crumbly interior texture makes you bring the moist to her— by pouring another cup of tea.
Did I get weirdly sexual about a scone? You’d better fucking believe I did.
No regrets!
This is the best scone recipe. I’ve been making them for decades.
Do you want to add blueberries or chocolate chips? GO FOR IT. Do you think you should chuck some raisins in there? ABSOLUTELY NOT — do you even know Kathryn?!? She will cut a bitch.
Tell me about your scone recipes in the comments below — I will not abide any defence of a doughnut.
Comely women and Garret Ghosts
The Married Woman who kept her lover in the attic
Listen, the lady’s name is Dolly, and this story is juicy!
One uncharacteristically hot autumn day in 1913, Dolly asked Fred to send one of the factory’s repairmen to the house to fix her sewing machine. When 17-year-old Otto Sanhuber knocked on the Oesterreichs’ ornate double entry door, Dolly, then 33, answered wearing stockings, a silk robe, and nothing else. In the master bedroom the dusty old Singer machine remained untouched; the same could not be said for Mrs. Oesterreich. Their tryst that day marked the beginning of a multi-decade sexual relationship.
Embrace the Tunic
I’ve been wearing a tunic + leggings for a decade now. Are some of my “tunics” just slightly long t-shirts? Yessir! Do I care? No ma’am. Embrace the ‘nic!
A tunic. It originates at my shoulders, meanders down my chest and stomach like a cool mountain stream, and ends its magnificent journey by lightly caressing my hips like a lover who’s just kind of phoning it in these days. It is my tunic. And it is perfection.
Twitter might be ending
In Memoriam: The Greatest Tweets of all time
In case you missed the news, Elon Musk bought Twitter, fired half the staff and is sending unhinged emails in the middle of the night. Many are predicting the demise of the platform.
Before the site goes up in flames, or simply becomes unrecognizable and useless under Musk’s sociopathic vision, let us take a little walk down memory lane and remember all the best (sometimes funny, sometimes ridiculous, sometimes humiliating) tweets that kept us coming back over the past decade-and-a-half.
Book Stuff
So much happening in my little world! I’m finishing off the very last of my edits for my NEXT murder mystery, which is tentatively called Honour the Dead and will be out in April 2024… Meanwhile, look for Speak for the Dead this upcoming March!
In Conversation with Bianca Marais November 22, 6:30 pm. Perfect Books, Ottawa. Bianca hosts the incredible podcast, The Shit No One Tells You About Writing, which if you are even the teeniest bit interested in writing as a hobby/career is a MUST LISTEN.
She’s a great writer and her latest book, The Witches of Moonshyne Manor is a cross between Golden Girls and Practical Magic. She and I are going to chat about her book, her podcast and how she finds the time to do it all. I can’t wait. This is free, so if you’re in Ottawa, come on out this TUESDAY!
Maple Leaf Leaf Ottawa Mystery Conference December 3, 2022. This is a virtual mini-conference featuring Ottawa-based mystery authors, but it’s open to the WORLD. Registration is only $20 and I’m very excited to be moderating a panel on cozy mysteries. I have never been in CHARGE before and am planning to go mad with power. You can register HERE and if you do, you get this tote:
Honeybee Emeralds was picked for CBC Ottawa’s November book club, which meant that a bunch of terrifyingly smart CBC listeners read my book and we all met up last Monday to talk about it. Is it possible that I had forgotten things in my book that these clever people remembered and asked me about? 100%!
Check out my website where I will be posting lots of links to the event. Also, most of it is at my Facebook page if you want to follow me there.
Advent Book Project. In the last newsletter I toyed with the idea of releasing some serialised fiction. I still think it’s a fun idea, but I have run out of time and I can’t get organized for December 1st — it’s practically here! Watch this space for updates, though. I’d still like to give serializing a whirl.
Buy my books!
Twitter
So, maybe Twitter is going to die, but in the meantime, here are some tweets to keep you going.
TikTok
Texts from college freshman
This guy…
I really enjoyed her breakdown of toxic nice-guyness
Eddie is a demon
This is long but the callback/payoff is excellent
Where are you from?
Eeek, but accurate.
I like the way we get to where we’re going here
Unless you’re watching this while falling off a building
Oh my heart
“Quiet dignified morality is the game.” [like the scone]
She is correct
Thanks for reading my weekly newsletter.
You can follow me on Twitter here and Instagram here and Facebook here. Also, check out my website
Amy, I thought you had outdone yourself with the Knix post, but your ode to scones proves your genius knows no bounds. I see a hard copy anthology of wisdom in your future.